It's always been you
by Cynthia03
Summary: Childhood friends AU


My Captain Swan Secret Santa asked me for a childhood friends AU so here it is:

She is seven when she first meets him.

All lanky limbs and dark ruffled hair moping his pale forehead. And those eyes, those blue _blue_ eyes with such sincerity and wonderment in them she could not tear her own emerald one's away from them.

She was playing football with her father when she tried to catch a rather high throw and slammed into him, sending them both tumbling down on the ground, her back to his front. She rolls away from him, her face flushed in embarrassment but as she rolls to her back, she sees a hand in front of her face, and then him.

She takes it shyly, allowing him to pull her up as she apologizes furiously for the fall. Her father is beside them in a moment and another tall curly-haired man who didn't look much old was hovering over the fallen children. David cradles her cheek and asks her of her well-being before he turns to the boy who now has the older man's arm slung around his shoulder.

The two men get talking – something about _new people, England, new star_ t, in the accent Harry Potter talked in, but Emma's attention is diverted by the boy in front of her as she studies him, smiling once their eyes meet and he blushes.

"I'm Emma" she says, waving a hand in the air.

"I'm Killian" he replies, offering her a grin.

/

She is twelve when she first comforts him.

Liam drops him off to her house for a week stay as he has to fly back to London to take care of some property they had to sell. Her parents had offered, or rather, insisted on Liam leaving Killian with them for the week as her mother was home for her maternal leave with her baby brother Leo.

They had just eaten the grilled cheese sandwiches her mother made them and were laying on her bed with their shoulders touching and their hands inches apart from each other beside them.

They were silent, hearing the ticking of the clock and the rain pouring outside.

He spoke first, "My brother is selling our house in London"

Emma turns her head towards him, noticing few tresses of her long blond hair on his shoulder, "You don't want him to sell it?"

"I don't know" he says softly, still staring at the ceiling, "That's where we all lived as a family"

Emma gulps down hard. She knew all about the accident that took away his parents, making the Jones boys orphans. Liam, at the mere age of 18, had fought tooth and nail to make sure he got the custody of his little brother. Once that was final, Liam used the inheritance money and moved to Storybrooke, Maine. The first time Emma and her father met the Jones boys, they had only been in the country for about a week. Of course her parents had practically adopted them both – asking them to join them for picnics every weekend, family dinners, holidays, and even family trips.

"You have to let go" Emma whispers, surprised at how she even came up with saying that, "That's your past. Focus on your present and future"

"I just miss my family so much" he chokes and Emma feels his body shook. She sits up abruptly, watching the tears stream down his cheeks, making her heart twist in pain for him.

She moves to lay half on top of him, her chin digging into his shoulder as she grips his hand tightly, "Hey Killian" she repeats until he finally looks at her, his breath hitching with his silent sobs, "We're here for you. We're your family now, _I'm_ your family"

His face breaks into a smile and she snuggles closer to him, resting her head at the crook of his neck and smiling as she felt his other arm come around her to hold her closer.

/

She is seventeen when she first feels something.

Prom is pretty dull to the surprise of no one. But it is much worse for Emma as she is all alone at her table as a slow song plays, every couple dancing except of her because her boyfriend was currently drinking with his friends in the parking lot.

For the first time during the night she smiles as she feels his body press to her side, "Would you care to dance, mi'lady?" Killian asks, wiggling his eyebrows. He cleaned up pretty well – his black hair slicked back, the light scruff now growing on his jaw was shaven off for the night, and the black tux he borrowed from his brother surprisingly fit well despite the size differences in both the Jones.

He had shown up to her house after getting ready, her parents fawning over both of them and taking hundreds of pictures. They'd driven them to the meeting place of everyone and let them go with a hug, Emma then falling into the arms of her boyfriend, Neal, and Killian heading towards his date, Tink.

"Don't you have to dance with Tink?" Emma asks, looking around for the petite blonde.

"I already danced with her"

"Killian you can't ditch your date to dance with me. What happened to your _good form_?" Emma tries to mimic his accent and smiles as she sees the familiar grin on his face from whenever she teases him for his accent.

"She's in the bathroom currently due to a minor accident involving a glass of coke and her dress" he said completely seriously, but Emma notices how hard he was trying to keep his lips from twitching up in a smile.

She stares at him for a moment, gob smacked, "Killian did you spill coke on your date just so you could dance with me on the slow song?"

"It was a complete accident that my hand just slipped and sent the glass onto her dress" he chuckles.

Emma laughs despite herself, "Oh my god you're horrible"

"Oh come on, love" he nudges her, making her smile from the endearment he adopted from his brother, "It was just a bit on her skirt – I didn't ruin it"

Emma takes his offered hand and lets him pull her to maneuver her on the dance floor, "Where's that bloke of a boyfriend of yours?"

Emma rolls her eyes. It was no secret that Killian absolutely loathed Neal, the reason for which she didn't know and wasn't interested in. "He's outside with his friends"

"Leaving his date all alone. Bad form"

"So spilling a drink intentionally is not bad form at all?" Emma teases, an eyebrow quirked up.

"Not if the intentions are well"

One song led to another, and another, and another until Emma's head was resting on his chest and his chin on the top of her head.

"Do you think I'm pretty?" she suddenly asks, and hears him chuckle.

"Of course love, why?"

"Um, well. I, uh, think, actually I'm pretty sure, that Neal and I are gonna you know…do it tonight. I guess I'm just kinda nervous – he's gonna see me naked you know?" Emma stops once she realizes Killian has stilled. He wasn't dancing anymore and his grip on her waist was painfully tight.

She separates from his chest and looks up at him, her hands gripping his biceps, "Killian, what is it?"

"That's why you're going to Regina's beach house? So you and Neal can have sex?" his expression was unreadable.

"I mean not really, all our friends are going so…but yes, I guess" she replies, feeling guilty for some reason, "I packed condoms as well"

Killian nods sharply, and looks away, resuming to sway slightly with the beat of the music.

"You and Tink are going as well. Maybe you two…?"

"Perhaps" he snaps, confusing Emma as in the ten years that they've been friends, he's never talked to her like this before.

"Killian, _what_?" she asks, forcing him to look at her.

"I just don't think that bloke deserves you. Emma you're the most beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, and tough lass I've ever met. You deserve more, you deserve the absolute _best"_ his eyes are wide, boring into hers with something in his gaze which she's noticed before, but never in such intensity.

Her heart flutters in her chest from his words and the look in his eyes. She notices the sensation of butterflies in her stomach as she suddenly realizes his touch on her waist and his eyes burning with such intensity. Staring at them, and listening to what her heart wants, she takes a step forward, standing on her toes until her lips are inches apart from his. She stares into his eyes, looking for any signs of _maybe he feels this too_ ; waiting for him to lean down and seal their lips together.

"Ems!" a voice makes her jump, turning away from Killian to watch her boyfriend rushing towards them.

"Neal where the hell have you been?" she snaps, irritated as he's obviously tipsy, but even more since he interrupted a moment. She sneaks a glance towards Killian and watches as his eyes are fixated to the ground, the nerve on his forehead ticking.

"Sorry baby, they wouldn't let me go" Neal smiles, wrapping his arms around Emma and pulling her closer, "Tink said we can ride with her and Killian. Then it's just gonna be you and me, baby"

Neal turns towards Killian, "Oh Tink told me to tell you to meet her outside. Emma and I'll just grab our coats and meet you guys in the car"

With a curt nod towards Killian, Neal leans down and kisses Emma. Her eyes blew open at the kiss and the last thing she sees was Killian marching away from her.

/

She is 21 the first time she kisses him.

"I can't believe I fucking came to this shit" Emma seethes, gulping down her wine.

Killian put his hand above hers, "We couldn't let his bloke get away so easily"

Two days before Christmas she and Killian had received a "Neal weds Tamara" invitation card. Emma had dumped his ass the beginning of first year after she had a pregnancy scare and Neal had freaked out – talking about abortions and what not the second she muttered the words "I'm late".

Her parents were happy she dumped him, as it turned out they never truly liked him. They were even more happy when Killian decided to do Law from Boston College as Emma chose to do Criminal Justice from there as well. First year they both went all out with one-night stands, stumbling into each other's rooms frequently to ask for spare condoms, the other helping them out when they were drunk. The only time Killian actually spent time in his room was when he had a girl with him – the rest was spent in Emma's.

"How are you two doing?" Neal advances towards them, resting his hands on each of their shoulders.

"Good" Emma fake-smiles brightly, "we're having fun"

"Doesn't quite look like it" Neal smirks, "Why don't you dance, you know, do couple things?"

Emma stands up abruptly and pulls Killian to the dance floor. Of course they told Neal that they were dating and had been acting as a couple the entire night (she couldn't show up without a date). Neal had just shrugged his shoulders as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

They dance effortlessly, having done this too many times since they were children. She catches Neal's gaze and he whispers something in his wife's ear, making her blush. Emma's blood boils – not that she loves him (she doubt she ever really loved him), but the way he ended things, telling her to get an abortion without even confirming if she was pregnant and then disappearing for two weeks. He showed up three days before graduation with a half-ass apology and pretending as if nothing changed. The only contact she had with him since then was an invitation to his wedding.

"Killian" she says firmly, meeting his gaze, "Kiss me"

"What?" he stilled.

"Kiss me, please" she starts moving again, "Let's show him what we got"

Killian visibly gulps, "As you wish, love"

He drops his hands from her waist to cup her cheeks. He brushes a strand of hair away from her face and slowly leans down, pressing his lips to hers almost tentatively. Emma grabs onto his shoulder and kisses him back, sucking on his upper lip. They're soft and sweet, just like she imagined.

She feels his tongue lining her lower lip and she opens up, allowing him to taste her. She presses herself onto him, slanting her mouth to give him better access as they move their lips in a slow and passionate kiss.

They separate for air, but keep their foreheads touching. Emma feels her heartbeat quickening and drops her hand to his chest, feeling his heart thrum madly beneath hers as well.

All she wants to do is lean him against a wall and kiss him again. Quite thoroughly. And maybe let her hands wander…

She's not sure if she's grateful or disappointed when the song changes to a hip-hop one and the moment is broken.

/

She is 22 when she finally admits she loves him.

Emma taps her fingers impatiently on the printer, waiting for it to print her thirty-freaking-seven pages of notes for an extremely important exam. She hadn't slept for more than three hours this past week, juggling all her exams, papers, and her shifts at Granny's. She hadn't been out except to see her T.A's for help, hasn't met with Ruby for their weekly nights at the Rabbit Hole, hadn't even talked properly to her roommate Elsa, and even declined an offer to go out with Killian sans his girlfriend Milah. Her kitchen was full of discarded pizza boxes and empty coffee cups. She didn't even remember the last time she ate actual food rather than pizza or some frozen food shit.

She collects her papers and after straightening and stapling them, settles on her bed with a highlighter. Her doorbell rings and she freezes for a moment – there's no reason for anyone to be here as Elsa has gone home.

She rushes to the door and glances through the peek hole. Without hesitation she opens the door, "Killian what the hell are you doing here at 1:45 a.m?"

He holds up a bag and a tray with two coffee cups, "Sustenance, Swan" he walks past her and drops the food on the coffee table.

"Do you know what time it is?" Emma huffs, helping him get forks and plates from the kitchen. She ignores the snide remark he makes about the state of her kitchen and follows him back to the couch.

She settles with her back pressed to one arm of the couch as he does the same with the other, both facing each other with their legs outstretched towards the other. He hands her her plate of noodles and two different type of chickens and she actually moans at the smell and dives in.

"You've been working way too hard, Emma" he says in between bites, "Take a break, love"

"I need to get at least a 85 to even be considered for the internship"

"And you will" he says in a matter of factly way, "If not, then we can kill whoever gets it so they are forced to give it to you"

She snorts, making a joke about _bodies in the basement_ and they finish their food in a comfortable silence, his socks covered toes brushing against the top of her thighs.

She's back in her room with her stuff on one side of the bed as Killian lays on the other. He changed into the pajama he keeps at her place and moved some of her papers to her side, keeping his head on her lap until she got up to print something else out.

He lets out a long sigh and Emma turns towards him, "What is it?" she watches as he puts his phone away on her side table and rubs his head.

"Nothing" he lies, pulling the blanket up to his chest.

" _Killian"_

"It's Milah" he exhales and Emma feels a slight pain in her chest. She'd admitted a long time ago that she's jealous. Because Milah is a good person – she is a bit older than them and has a bit of a wild side, but she's nice. The only logical explanation of Emma feeling a pang in her chest whenever Killian mentions her name, wanting to drown whenever she sees them together and has to watch her best friend kiss the brunette, or wanting to outright die whenever she sometimes imagines them getting married. She's jealous because now there's another person in Killian's life who is important to him – before it was just his brother and her, but now this woman has taken a hold of his heart and she doesn't like it.

Emma nods, prompting him to continue, "I was supposed to go with her to some office party of hers tonight and well I didn't"

Emma stares at him, "What the hell Killian! Why didn't you go?"

He sighs loudly, "I haven't seen you in two weeks Emma and from what Elsa told me she said you've been pressuring yourself with exams and no sleep or appetite"

His gaze rakes over her face, "I was just taking care of you, love. You come first, then her"

Emma blinks, trying to keep her emotions in check, "She's your _girlfriend_ , Killian"

"That's exactly what she says" he laughs without humor, "She has mentioned a couple of times how she isn't too happy with our closeness"

"We're best friends; we're family" Emma states firmly.

"Aye" he sighs again, "We've been fighting a lot this past month and it all has to do with me prioritizing you over my relationship"

Emma stares at him, not knowing what to say. What do you say when your best friend tells you he's having problems with his girlfriend because he prioritizes you over her?

"She just texted me that I should choose between you and me"

A jolt of panic shoots up Emma's spine. She's not losing him, she's _not_ losing Killian. He wouldn't give up their friendship, would he?

"Killian" she tries to keep her voice straight but fails as his eyes snap up to hers, "What did you do?"

"Of course I chose _you_ Emma" his hand found hers, squeezing slightly, "I'd always choose you"

Emma's heart flutters and she whispers, "Good". Lifting his hand, she presses a kiss to it. He smiles at her and to loosen the tense situation makes a joke about having too many embarrassing pre-puberty pictures of her which he needs to stick around to show them her children.

It's when Emma puts away her stuff, and settles back into the bed beside him. When she lifts his arm to lay her head on it and he turns towards her in his sleep. It's when his other arm comes around her and his lips press to her forehead that she realizes she's not afraid to lose him cause he's her best friend, or jealous of Milah for prioritizing issues, it's because she loves him.

He has been with her through so much and supports and cares for her so deeply and she does the same, how could it not be love?

She's in love with her best friend.

/

She is 23 when she tells him.

Emma jumps, her hand already fisting in case she needed to punch someone for sneaking up on her at the roof of Killian's apartment. Rather she found the man in question standing in front of her with a raised eyebrow and a bottle of wine.

"You ran away" he says, walking up to her and settling beside her, their shoulders touching.

Of course she ran away from the party she threw him. She invited all of his friends ( _theirs_ since they were a package deal in all friendship groups – had been since elementary school). It was all fun and games until Ruby coerced everyone into playing truth or dare and once it was Emma's turn, a drunken Victor dared her to kiss Walsh, their senior who was trying to get Emma to go out with him.

So when she forced herself to kiss him, watching Killian leave to his bedroom from the corner of her eye, and saw a big smile plastered on Walsh's face, she had to leave. It had only been two months since Killian broke up with Milah and since she realized her true feelings towards her best friend. But god, it was the hardest two months of her life.

"I was just tired of the loudness" Emma lies, smiling as he grabbed her hand and started drawing circles at the back of it.

"Me too" he whispers, "I'm not too fond of the truth and dare game"

"Ya me neither"

"You got to kiss Walsh" his tone is clipped, reserved somehow.

Emma takes the bottle from him, gulping down a few mouthful sips. She turns to look at him and she isn't sure whether it is the alcohol, her raging emotions, the way he spat Walsh's name, her tiredness from keeping her emotions bottled in, or just a spur of courage when she speaks, "I was hoping it was someone else"

His eyes snap to hers and Emma sees a flicker of hope gleam in them. They stood still for what felt like eternity, heartbeats quickened, lips parted, eyes boring into the other – searching whether the other feels it too.

Finally, Killian raises his hand, cupping Emma's cheek as his thumb caresses it, "Emma" he whispers, like a prayer.

"Killian" she smiles brightly, leaning towards him to rest her forehead against his.

His lips hover over hers, Emma feeling his hot breath on her lips, his nose brushing against hers, and she has to tell him, has to have him know just how she feels about him, "I love you Killi-"

She feels his lips on hers before she could complete. The kiss is soft and sweet, with their hands intertwined, their lips moving slowly against each other, and their tongues mingling together. It ends way too soon for Emma's liking, making her whine once he pulls away.

He chuckles at her whine and looks down at her with his eyes sparkling, "I have always loved you Emma"

-/-

They stumble into her apartment, panting since they practically ran to it. Killian ditched his own birthday party and followed closely behind Emma with their hands intertwined as she hurried towards her apartment building, making the usually 10 minutes walk into 5 due to their desperation.

Once she shut the door behind them, he presses her to it, his body lining with hers as his lips attack her neck, sucking on her pulse point until Emma was sure she had a mark to it.

His hips dig into hers, pressing her even deeper into the door as the knob digs into her back but she could care less when she's aching and heat is spreading all over her body. She brings her hands down from his chest to link in his belt loops, pulling him even closer until his arousal is pressed to hers, his knee between her legs.

His hand creeps up her shirt, his fingertips brushing against her spine until he reaches his destination – unclasping her bra and bringing his fingers to her front, pressing the lightest of touches to the underside of her breasts as she unbuttons his own shirt.

He shakes his shirt off of him and takes a step back from her, their hips losing contact for a mere second where he lifts the hem of her top and throws the top behind him. He drags the straps of her bra down slowly, leaving goosebumps on her skin as his fingers brush against her arms as he slides the material down. He takes another step back, his gaze resting on her breasts as he breathes out, "You're gorgeous Emma"

"Are you just gonna stare at me?" she teases, shifting her weight to one foot. She should be embarrassed or at least a bit shy by the way he is staring at her body, but she couldn't bring herself to care. This man had seen her at her very worst – holding her hair back as she puked from excessive alcohol, her blotchy red eyes and nose running once she broke up with Neal, even a black eye she once got for fighting with a rather touchy-feely guy at a party who had reacted with a punch to her own.

"Impatient are we?" he smirks, bringing his hands to cup her breasts, his thumb flicking over her nipples until she moaned, a sound that sent the remaining blood all down to where he was throbbing.

He bends his head down to lick one of her nipples, his beard scraping against the top of her breast and a downright dirty sound leaves her lips, making him chuckle as he closes his lips over the pert nipple, sucking it into his mouth as his hand kneads the other.

Emma feels vibrations against her nipples and opens her eyes, looking down to find his dark head shaking slightly and his teeth scraping her nipples as his lips are now formed into a smile. "What?" she asks, breathlessly.

"Nothing, love" he answers, coming up and pressing a kiss to her forehead, "it's just, remember the time during grade 11 when you almost murdered me because you thought I'd seen you changing in my room?" She raised a quizzical eyebrow and he continued, "Then you were all flustered and angry but here you are not just letting me see you naked, but _touch_ you as well" he wiggled his eyebrows, suddenly looking like her teasing best friend and not the lover she's about to take.

"God, you're an idiot" Emma chuckles, cradling his cheek in her hand.

"But you love me" he smiles, wrapping his arms around her waist to press her to him.

"I do" she smiles back, tucking her head under his chin.

She feels his hand sliding down her stomach, unbuttoning her jeans and she moans once he slips his fingers inside the lace of her panties, feeling two of his fingers rub against her slick heat as his thumb circles her clit.

"Take me to bed" she whispers against his neck, opening his fly and palming him through his boxers, moving her hand in tandem with the thrusting of his fingers inside her.

"As you wish"

/

She's 25 when she says _yes_.

He had been acting weird all day long – his hand going up behind his ear more often, offering shaky laughs, and not the usual amount of innuendoes and heated glances than she'd like.

It wasn't as if this was the first time they were having dinner with her parents and his brother at her family house – as friends or as a couple (her parents and Liam had shrugged their shoulders and said "about time" once Emma told them about them).

Once dinner was over, and she was helping the others clean up in the kitchen, he sneaked up behind her and offered his arm to her. She tilts her head in question but followed him, letting him pull her jacket and a beanie on top of her. Her father closes the door behind them with a huge smile and a nod.

"Just come with me, love" he presses a kiss to her forehead and she rested her head on his shoulder. They stop once they reach the park – Emma started to head towards the empty swings but he caught her arm, turning her around.

Her heartbeat quickens – was it happening now? She wasn't an idiot, she could see the way he would never allow her near his end of the closet (she had unofficially moved in with him once they revealed their feelings on his birthday). He had been nervous all throughout the car drive to Storybrooke, and saw him exchanging glances with her parents and smiles with Liam.

And then of course he brought her to the place they first met.

Before she came to a conclusion, he drops down to one knee.

Emma's hand goes up to her mouth like the cliché, and he rummages through his coat's pocket and opens the little velvet box to reveal a diamond ring inside.

"Around 18 years ago at this very place I met a little blonde lass after she pushed me. That day I met the girl who is now my best friend" he licks his lips, "We've been through so much Swan – puberty" she laughs, "bad fashion trends where you still stood with me as I decided to grow a ponytail, Bad boyfriends and girlfriends, all-nighters for exams, puking our brains out from too many beers and rum"

He took a deep breath, "So many people in my life Swan, but never have I been happier than when I'm with you. Will you please, please, do us both a favor and let me marry you so we can be disgustingly in love in front of our future devilishly handsome and beautiful children?"

"Yes" Emma answers, tears streaming down her face as she watches him stand up, and then throws herself onto him, his arms coming around her in an instant and his head settling in the crook of her neck.

"May I?" he asks, once they separate and she brings her hand up for him.

Holding onto her left hand, he slips the ring on her finger, making her laugh as he pretends to count the finger on which it needs to go. Once done, he kisses her knuckles, "I love you Emma"

"I love you Killian"

She's 28 when she watches him kiss their little dark-haired baby girl, and when the little lass opens her emerald eyes and Emma watches the sparkle in her husband's blue ones, she is certain she has never loved him more.

/


End file.
